The 5 Love Languages of Children

You can express “I Love You” to your child in 5 different ways.  It’s important to always express all of them to your child.  However, when your child is about 5 years old, you will notice that they prefer one more than the others so try and make sure you express that particular love language often! 

Every child is different so each one of them may have a different love language.  You can learn more from the book, “The 5 Love Languages of Children” by Gary Chapman.  He also wrote one for teens and married couples!  So, this is great information for the entire family!  You can also view my February 14th segment on this for more information.

Below are the 5 love languages and examples:

1. Encouraging words-  The word encourage means to “in still courage”  We want to encourage our child to attempt more.  Try and focus on a specific effort that your child is making. Catch them doing something good and commend them for it.
   
   

   Ex. I really appreciate you feeding the dog right away when I asked and I didn’t have to repeat myself.  Thank you so much for being proactive about it.
   

   Ex. Leave notes of encouraging words in your child’s lunch or backpack. When child is sad, share 5 reasons why you are so proud of him.
   
   

2. Quality time- Being together. Positive eye contact, be a good listener.. (try and do meal time together)

   Try to find things you can do together…fold clothes, bake together, wash dishes together, Color together, bed time stories, lay and read with  your child.

   Do you have a child hanging on to your leg in the kitchen?  It may be a sign that your child craves for some quality time.   It may mean taking 10 to 15 minutes just to do something with them before you make dinner and then tell them you will spend more time with them afterwards.
   
   
   
3. Gifts- shouldn’t be used as bribery or for services but given out of genuine love.

   Ex. Wild flowers, pretty rocks you found, sock puppet, drawing a special picture for them---always wrap gift…this is exciting for those who love gifts!
   

   Ex. Keep a small bag of gifts at home that you give when your child does something nice or achieves something at school.
   
   

4. Acts of service- Doing things for your child.
   
   
   • Your child broke a toy and asked you to fix it…do it right away.  Shows I care about you and I know this toy is important to you.
   • Making them cookies
   • Helping children with your homework.
   • Surprise your child with a special breakfast during the school week.
   • Creating flash cards to help them with a test
     
     
     
5. Physical Touch
   
   
   • Give them hugs when you say hello or good bye
   • Rub their backs when they are playing or reading
   • When discipline them, you can still communicate, “I Love you” by hugging them before and after… “This is difficult for me to do but you did something you weren’t supposed to do and there are consequences for it.”
   • Snuggle when you are watching TV together
   • Tickle or wrestle with child
   • Give kisses