I am sure it’s unimaginable to think of losing a loved one in your lifetime and your child experiencing the loss with you but it can happen. It happened in my family when we lost my father four years ago unexpectedly. It’s always good to educate yourself on what to do and how to respond to others who may have experienced a loss.

When a child loses a loved one, they will experience many emotions and each child will respond differently depending on their age. As they get older, they will also revisit the loss of their loved one with a different understanding and more questions.

What you need to remember is that children can have a difficult time expressing what they are feeling during this time. They’re obviously feeling a great loss and miss the presence of their loved one. Many children wonder what their new role may be in the family. The change in family dynamics will be an adjustment for the child. A child’s health can also be affected by the many emotions they are experiencing. This is why it’s so important for you to give your child permission, opportunities, and time to express their emotions.

Below are some things you can do to help your child through grief:

Be honest and direct when answering their questions
Listen to them and validate emotions- Let them know that you are always ready to talk with them about it.
Grief Workbooks – There are some great grief workbooks for children. This is one that I used when working with children. “When Someone Very Special Dies” by Marge Heegard.
Art activities- play dough, coloring, and painting are just some ideas. Many children love doing these activities and it’s a good way to help the child to start acknowledging their feelings. For example: You can ask the child to draw or make something that resembles how they are feeling today.
Exercise or Dance – Any type of aerobic activity or sport is great. This also allows for opportunities for your child to talk with you. For example: If you are playing catch with your child, they may start talking about everything including how they are feeling about the loss.
Grieve in front of your child – This encourages your child to grieve with you because they know its okay to share their feelings if you are doing it.
Reading books on grief and loss to your child
Finding ways of remembering your loved one as a family. For example: Writing a message on a balloon and letting it go is something the entire family can do together on significant days.
Have your child seek counseling or play therapy. There are also grief support groups for children that are wonderful for expressing their feelings. “The Warm Place” in Fort Worth is one I highly recommend.

Past Articles:

The 5 Love Languages of Children- Click Here!

A Toddler's Language Development - What's appropriate?

Helping When A Child Loses A Loved One